My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
