I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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