There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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