But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
