HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize