So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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