i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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