did you get engaged???
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
