i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
