..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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