I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I want her autograph on my taint
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
