I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
how drunk are you?
Several
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize