it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
