We got so high we made milksteak
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize