Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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