some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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