Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
