I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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