I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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