And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
