Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

(1-917): View more from New York City

I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

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(727): View more from Florida

Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

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(423): View more from Tennessee

pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing

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