He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i now understand why vodka
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
