you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
