The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
