No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
