I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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