well you can't waste a boner
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
