do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
