I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
