You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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