Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have already put on my inside pants.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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