sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
