In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
