alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
