maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
