Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize