ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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