And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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