how can u be prego again
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
