Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
