I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
