The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
