You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
