the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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