I think I died a long time ago.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
