If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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