Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
