I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
