Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
