Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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