Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
