You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
