I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
