Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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