I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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