I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
