I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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