:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
