I want to have your abortion
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
