hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
