one two three fourrrrnication!
barbara walters just said penis...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
