I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
