We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
