my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
