i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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