ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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