I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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