i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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