So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
