She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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