It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
