9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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