"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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