Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize