He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
